I recently moved my mom, aka “The Momster” to Albuquerque. As such things go, I couldn’t move most of her material possessions. Too much stuff. Too little time. Too many and higher priorities.
And, as I spent hours digging through drawers, closets and cabinets…much of it appeared to not have been touched, much less used in years, if not decades. ALL of it coated in multiple layers of deep, deep brown nicotine (Hey, wasn’t this white when I sent it as an Xmas present? Ack. Ack.) So, what the hell to move??? - especially given Mom’s directive to “do the best you can.”
Still, I tried…digging out old family jewelry…sifting through piles of paper… trying to get the things that would really (I thought) mean something to the Momster. All while breathing in decades of deeply embedded second-hand smoke. (Seriously. NOT. FUN. But life-long smokers really CANNOT smell or see it. Put THAT on a cigarette pack!)
All that, and, based on the Momster’s questions, I failed dismally. Warning Will Robinson! Warning Will Robinson! Guilt Attack! Guilt Attack! (Bear with me, I end with an encouraging note. Really.) Just today, she asked if I’d “gotten my heating pad” (We play this “My things” game pretty much every day…with the results being the aforementioned dismal batting average.) No, she didn’t need one. Just wanted to know if I’d gotten HERS. (And, in some alternate universe I can both read minds and have a garage the size of a football field…J)
Here’s the kicker…when I actually do HAVE whatever – she doesn’t want it. So, there I am. I could have just pretended that I COULD read minds and have a football field-sized garage, God love her. She’d never know the difference. Her real issue is she’s lost her environment. Which I can totally understand. However…
I come to my point. Our happiness in our environment – whatever our age – shouldn’t come from things. It should come from our perspective. True happiness doesn’t require the accumulation of objects. Rather, it’s an accumulation of appreciation – be it a sunset or a simple bowl of home-made ice cream (which I made for Mom this week. She loved it.)
I’m still hoping the Momster will come to this same realization re perspective. No matter the length of our life…it should be about quality…
Now, I’m going to take another look at my closets, cabinets (and the small garage) and see what else I can donate to Goodwill.
Note: subtitle inspired by George Carlin
